Love and Inspire

Well, I don't think I'd actually noticed my transformation this summer until this week, with ALL of its challenges. I realized that my eyes were open to new things and that I was beginning to see things differently before now, but bringing in another group of people and watching their interactions with our kids really made me see the problems in this world and how deeply it bothered me to see them right in front of my eyes.

I'll start from the beginning. On Tuesday, we took our kids on an awesome field trip to Camp Baldwin in Elberta, AL. From the very beginning, we knew this day would be complicated. The church van that we were counting on using wouldn't start up in the morning, so Jean had to frantically call around to search for another method of transportation. She finally drove to Saraland UMC, had herself put on the list of people who are allowed to drive their van, and came back to Whistler. I loaded myself and 7 of the youngest kids, between the ages of 4-7, onto Jean's van, and we embarked on our hour and 20 minute drive, at least 30 minutes late. We had been driving along for awhile, having a good time, when suddenly the van started shaking. Jean started freaking out as she realized that we had absolutely no gas left. In the chaos of the morning, no one had thought to check for gas. We had to pull over in a random parking lot and wait for someone who was already at camp to come get us, so of course the kids were restless and thought that they wouldn't be able to go swimming anymore. We eventually got them all there, and Jean got a gas can for the van, and we all enjoyed a good amount of time swimming together. Then it was lunch time though, and I had to wait in line for the bathroom for so long during lunch that by the time I got back, the food had been put away. So...that kinda sucked, but I knew I would be okay until dinner that night. Other than that, the trip was just general chaos. The youth group who was "helping us" actually stirred them up more than calmed them down, and they were no help at all as far as discipline and keeping the kids from going crazy. Then when we got back, kids had left clothes there, brought home clothes that weren't theirs, were wearing different shoes...we had even taken a kid with us who we somehow didn't have a permission slip for. Not to mention that we were 30 minutes late coming back because of the morning difficulties, so, naturally, we had some upset parents. But, even with everything that went wrong and all the moments I thought I was going to rip my hair out, the day was so worth it. They swam, went on a sailboat ride, got to steer the boat, and learned about and touched snakes, baby alligators, and turtles. I saw kids who have barely smiled all summer with smiles on their faces all day long because they were having so much fun. Those smiles kept me going and reminded me that none of this is about me; it's about the children who I love so much. Those smiles made everything worthwhile.

Wednesday.....oh, Wednesday. This is the day that truly angered me. I was a bit annoyed with the youth group, but I was going to try to give them another chance. First strike occurred when I went out to the fellowship hall to move chairs and tables together for our kids to have somewhere to sit during lunch. Well, I had pulled a ton of chairs up to a table, when suddenly, a group of the youth removed those chairs and took them to another table so they could all sit together. I just stopped and said, "Well, I guess I'm not doing this right now," and went back to the back where we live. Strike two happened during lunch. Two of the youth were trying to help me serve lunch, but at first, not many kids were coming to get food to eat. Well, that happens sometimes, and I honestly rejoice when they don't want food at day camp because that means that they got a meal at home. Instead of just waiting to see if kids would come to eat, though, the youth got angry that the kids weren't appreciating their efforts of trying to feed them. They were looking at my kids as though they couldn't believe they weren't eating anything (because apparently being a black child living in Prichard is equivalent to being poor and starving). Then another youth told me that the kids were rough, and others treated everything as if it was a joke and didn't even try to interact with the kids, and others pushed kids away because they're "unclean".....I could seriously go on forever. Basically, they had a "lets cross the bay and save the poor black kids" mentality. They pitied our kids instead of loved them. They took tons of pictures to use as trophies for their own personal glory, instead of being humble and genuinely loving as Jesus would. Jesus spent time with all walks of life, from tax collectors to prostitutes, and he never turned a person away. And not every single youth was like that...several of them were really awesome with the kids and were helpful to us. But the ones that acted as though they were better than our kids definitely got under my skin. I've never been as angry at a group of people as I was this week, because I could see the hatred and the hypocrisy right in front of my eyes. And it was directed toward MY kids, who I have poured all of my love and all of my heart into this summer. They ARE my heart, and they are my life. I will allow no one to degrade them or see them as a joke.
Luckily, after VBS was over for the day and we had cleaned everything up, my team had mentoring with Reverend Fail. Right when we were about to finish, he asked me what I thought of our conversation, which has basically centered around anger. I told him it was convenient timing, since I was pretty angry. I had already had a break down of crying because not only had I just watched my kids be degraded for a few hours, but also, in the chaos of everything, I had forgotten to order food bank for Thursday, so we had to throw something together. There's also always the looming reality of the end of the internship in two weeks, and the thought of leaving these kids absolutely breaks my heart. But, Reverend Fail let me get all of my feelings out, and I was practically yelling at some times, along with the other members of my team. I felt a bit better afterward though, because Reverend Fail has a way of saying the right things to ease the situation.

Today (Thursday) was the last day of VBS, thankfully. A lot of the same stuff I already described happened again....just youth who still have so much to learn about life and the true meaning of Christianity not helping us control the chaos in any way. It stormed in the middle of VBS, so Levonta freaked out because he's terrified of thunder. Mrs. Lacey from the church happened to be there though, so she took him home. Then Lanissa stepped on something and had blood all over her foot, so I had to take care of that. Just....lots of stuff. Then lots of cleaning afterward. Then we had to prepare for a Whistler community meeting that Reverend Fail was hosting that night about the price of water in Whistler. We went straight from cleaning into rearranging tables; searching for large paper, an easel, and a sharpie; and making refreshments. We had some things at Whistler already that we pulled together, but we had to go out and buy a few more things along with dinner for ourselves, since we missed the intern dinner for the second night in a row because of other obligations. God did an amazing thing with this meeting though. Instead of bringing in adults from the community, kids showed up. I don't think some of them even realized what was happening. They just came by because they know they're welcome and safe at the church, and they know we'll give them water after they've been walking around Whistler for who knows how long. So of course we invited them, gave them lemonade and food, and Reverend Fail changed the entire course of the conversation. He asked the boys the good and bad qualities about Whistler community and what things needed to change to make it better, and their answers were remarkable. They said things like wanting a park where they could play, wanting a Boys and Girls Club, recycling, making guys stop sagging their pants, and sidewalks for more safety while they're walking or riding their bikes. Can you see why I love these kids so much? They are the future of Whistler, and they have so much potential and so much power to make things better. Reverend Fail asked them if anyone had ever offered them drugs before, and most of them said yes. I mean, we're talking about boys between the ages of 7-10 being offered drugs and refusing them because they know it's wrong. That's powerful stuff right there. These kids never cease to amaze me.

Sorry for two really long posts back to back. I just have so much on my heart this week, and my thoughts are impossible to contain. I want to shout it to everyone and make everyone understand. Basically, the whole point of all that I have to say is that no one person is ever better than anybody else. I told the interns tonight during organic worship (during a rather long speech I gave expressing all the stuff on my heart) that if people, such as this youth group or even any of us, at any moment act as though we're better than the people we're serving, then we need to reevaluate our own lives. Love knows no boundaries. "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." --1 Corinthians 13:6-8. Yeah, we all know that verse, but I think sometimes we forget the true definition of what it really means to love. I would challenge you never to forget simple Christianity, never to forget what Jesus stood for and what he died for, never to forget about love. Love abundantly, because the world can never have too much of it, and may never have enough of it.